Yesterday I posted about being discouraged and how I'm always striving for perfection. I know the body I see in my head is most likely unattainable for me. Unless, that is, I want to focus solely on what I look like. Which, I don't. I want to be focused on being healthy-in all areas of life. A well rounded person. Someone who isn't afraid to eat a cheeseburger but also knows that you can't eat a cheeseburger everyday. Restraint. Balance. Flexibility. I want to enjoy life but I no longer want to do it in a way that isn't in a manner worthy of the Lord. Because binging, punishing myself with exercise, striving to be something/somebody I'm not...none of these things are pleasing to God.
I once wrote in my journal "If you are to be consumed by something, let it be God." That might not make sense to some of you. But for those of you who have (or are inclined to) addict mentality, this will make complete sense to you. From the moment I wake up till the moment I fall asleep, I'm consumed with something. Usually, it's food...what will I eat, when will I eat it, how much will I eat...should I eat it. Sometimes, I'm consumed with other things, the boy of the moment, friendship drama, planning a party, reading a really good book, exercise, shopping...the list goes on. Apparently the day I wrote those words in my journal I realized that there is nothing that should consume me but God. His love for me, His will for me, His commands, His mercy, His grace...my relationship with Him, how I should live because of that relationship, the love I should show others in light of the love He's shown me...nothing of this world should consume me. Food...you've been dethroned...Breakfast: I was not messing around with breakfast today. Some sweet potato hash, a couple of handfuls of spinach sautéed in, topped with two eggs and a bowl of fruit salad with toasted nuts/coconut sprinkled on top. Sure, this was a lot of fruit. Too much, in fact. I knew that when I was cutting it and putting it in the bowl. So...I only ate some of it-maybe about half.
Workout: Insanity is killing me. I get worn out just on the warmup. My body is tired. I'm not getting enough sleep and my muscles are very fatigued. I'm going to try and up my protein intake the next few days and see if that helps. Also need to get on a better sleeping routine.
PWM: As I flew around the house getting my lunch ready to go babysit, I scarfed down a double egg scramble and a veggie pouch...I think I mainly like them because they provide hands-free eating...also, note the sweat...this was about 15 min after I finished the video...I'm gross...
Pre-Lunch: I'm not calling this a snack, though it probably should be considered one. I've still been struggling with cramping in my legs and I decided to take action...I know I've been drinking enough water so I assume it's because I haven't been eating my daily banana...since apparently the sugar in fruit and candy bars are the same to my brain...whatever. I was planning on slicing this banana and adding it to my fruit salad for lunch but I was babysitting (note the car track in the photo) and was temporarily stuck in the basement while the cleaning lady was upstairs so I was unable to prepare my lunch when I wanted to eat so I just enjoyed this banana while I read my book (note the highlighter) so, there...not a snack. And, hopefully no more cramping.
Lunch: Well, it was mega and it was delicious. Tuna. The rest of the fruit salad from breakfast (sans banana slices) a salad made of mixed greens and spinach, avocado, tomatoes, cucumber, onion and lime juice. And a handful of nuts. Really trying to up that protein and healthy fats. Without snacking I think I need to make sure I'm still feeling full and those are the two things that will make it happen. It was delicious but the pizza bagel I fed to the baby sure did smell good...and I don't even like pizza. Or bagels!
Bevvie: It's as close as you can get to alcohol on the W30...not that I ever drink during the day, or while babysitting, or really ever...but I splurged today and had a Kombucha...I checked and there are only 8 grams of sugar in the whole bottle, which took me 2 hours to drink. Maybe this plays into my afternoon sugar fix, I dunno...what I do know is I had it in my fridge and thought I'd get it out of there before I go grocery shopping this weekend...produce takes up a LOT of room! And isn't baby Louisa adorable?!
Getting up and spending time in prayer has really been helpful. I find that it not only gets the day started on the right foot, but it's also easier to return to prayer throughout the day. I spend a lot of time on my own during the day. Basically, from 8:25am-3:35pm, with the exception of a phone call from my mom at 9:45 and potentially one other call during that time, I'm alone...sure, I am "around" people at the grocery store, but I'm talking about real conversations, live and in person interactions. When I have started the day in conversation with God, it's easier to pick up that conversation during those "alone" hours instead of leaving myself to my own thoughts and letting my brain wander and create mountains out of molehills...because that's what I do. Someone once gave me the nick name "OTP" which stood for Over-Thinky-Pants. I'd say that's a pretty accurate assessment. So...all this to say...I'm going to continue to seek God each morning...I spend some time each morning praying for all of us doing this W30 thing, that we wouldn't be discouraged or let doubt creep in, but that we would allow God to sustain us, that we would be satisfied in Him and wouldn't turn to food to "fix" us.
Sleep. Well, it's not happening. I found this on Pinterest...it was pinned by one of my roomies and Ithought, wow-perfect timing. Just a great reminder of what happens when we don't make sleep a priority. This weekend I need to get back on track with my normal sleeping hours. I struggle more with temptations and cravings when I'm tired and snacking will rule my world if I let it.
Still feeling a little discouraged today. I think I'm just worn out. I feel like I've been killing it on the Insanity front but I still have a little belly...what's that about?! Again, I know it won't go away overnight but it's been 11 nights...what gives?! Patience...I'll try and be patient. Starting tomorrow Insanity throws in a double video... Pure Cardio AND Cardio Abs...ugh...good thing Sunday is a rest day.
where do you get those drinks? they look good. would jewel have them?
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